Active Bug Bite Cream

Are you tired of mosquito bites? Getting you all bothered and itchy. The worst part is scratching the spot feels so good, it’s almost euphoric just digging into the infected spot. However, you’d quickly regret your life decision as your bratty actions soon cause you pain and suffering. You have just turned your innocent little problem that’ll go away in a day or two into an open wound that is now bruised and bleeding with a stinging pain that’ll last a week now. Buuuut, scratching it just feels soooo good.

What if?

What if there is a cream that after you apply it to a bug bite, the more you scratch it, the more it activates the healing power? You’ll get to enjoy the orgasmic fingernail stabbing while healing the spot.

Introducing The Active Bug Bite Cream, Dengue and yellow fever ain’t got shit on it (I know that isn’t how those diseases work), just scratch them chikungunya and West Nile away. I should get an actual Nobel Prize for this. Its pretty much like a donut that is good for you.

EGON